At an early age I realized a few things in life. One of them is that people are going to treat you the way you let them treat you. When you have low expectations, you don’t get much from folks. But when you raise the bar—showing people that you know your worth and nothing less than respect will do—well, people tend to shape up or find their way out of your life.
When we enter a relationship, the most important thing we need to do is set the tone from the very beginning. The moment you allow a man to disrespect who you are in any way, it sends a clear message about what you will allow in your space. Setting the bar low and accepting behavior that leaves you feeling less than, shows the man in your life that you will accept a whole lot, even if it’s dead wrong.
Having expectations doesn’t mean you are difficult or demanding. It simply means that you know who you are and what you deserve, and you have no interest in settling for less. If you ask me, that’s best way to start off any relationship in your life, not just a romantic one.
Here are five things I think all women should and must expect from the man they decide to be with. If you expect anything less, you are selling yourself short.
1. Consistent Respect.
I have no interest in being with a man that respects me sometimes. If a man cannot respect you all the time, he doesn’t respect you at all. And respecting you doesn’t mean that he agrees with everything you do or say; it just means that he honors who you are as a woman—as a person—and he treats you with a level of respect that is reflective of that honor.
2. Support and Encouragement.
Your man should support and encourage you in every possible way. Whether you are struggling with family issues, or trying to sort through your professional vision for your life. He should be there offering the right words and doing the right things to show you that he’s got your back.
3. Kindness.
It costs nothing to be kind, so anyone who is unable to treat you kindly is a jerk. Kindness is really just about making another person feel the way you would want to feel. Honestly, we learned this stuff in kindergarten. If a grown man can’t treat his lady with kindness, he is not the right man for you.
4. Dependability.
There is nothing worse than a person you just can’t rely on—whether he’s your man or not. When you are involved with someone on a romantic level, you need to know that you can depend on him. Broken promises and being MIA when you need him the most, are just the beginning of a journey you do not want to take.
5. Trustworthiness.
If your man has lied to you in the past and as a result, you just don’t trust him, you have a big problem. You have to determine if you are able to forgive the lie and move on, depending on what it was. Trust is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship, though, so without trust you can find yourself struggling to truly be happy with this man. A man that can’t keep his word is not a man worth keeping.
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